Broken-Hearted-Hoover-Fixer-Sucker Guy

In news unrelated to absolutely anything of relevance, I've done a recent 180 on my lifelong hatred of Starbucks and am pretty much willing to declare it the greatest thing ever. They now finally brew a decent cup of coffee (Pikes Place Roast, which is their only that doesn't taste like it was dunked in Liquid Plum-R), they make really good sandwiches and they now have free wi-fi, which will give me something to do while I'm waiting for the show to start at The New Bev.

Speaking of the Bev, some last-minute booking shenanigans led to an impromptu double bill of ONCE and WAITRESS, two acclaimed indy films from last year that I got to see on the big screen rather than via red envelope.

WAITRESS started out well enough, albeit a little sugary for my taste, but wore out its welcome very, very quickly. The seemingly bottomless well of quirkiness that the characters drew from got downright annoying and writer/director/actress Adrienne Shelly's apparent disdain for men surfaced in a collection of one-dimentional male characters who range from lame to flat-out irrirtating. Earl, the insecure, unstable, abusive husband of the title character, got to be so painfully unpleasant that I considered leaving the theater before the credits rolled.

Pretty much every character in the film winds up cheating on their spouses at some point. The women cheat because their husbands are so terrible, so Shelly gives them a pass. The men cheat because...well, they're guys and apparently that's what we do even when we're married to sweet, attractive women.

I'm sorry the tragic cloud of Shelly's murder looms over this film, but my sorrow over what happened to this poor woman doesn't change the fact that sitting through WAITRESS was one of the most grueling experiences I've had at the cinema.

ONCE, one the other hand, may be the best romantic film I've ever seen, which isn't saying much considering the vast number of romantic films I haven't seen. But now that I've seen (And loved) both this and JUNO, maybe I'm just doing what Ajax accuses the rest of the boys from Coney of doing when they wouldn't let him chase tail.

I loved the characters, a nameless young man and woman who meet on the streets and are brought together by their love of music and what feels like destiny. Yes, I completely realize how utterly lame and cliche that sounds, and all who know me know how much I freakin' hate lame and cliche. But the characters, their lives, the emotions all feel very real.

They have baggage, they type that real people accumulate through love's inherent imperfection and not the "We need something implausable to drive the story" variety that usually gunks up most of the crappy love stories Hollywood cranks out. The film's authentic aura is actually helped by ONCE's low-budget trappings. The lack of Hollywood gloss make you feel like you're really glancing in on a couple weeks in the lives of the main characters.

I loved The Guy and The Girl (As they're listed in the credits) probably because they don't ask to be loved. They don't speak in movie "Ain't I charming?" speak. They don't even speak in the type of "Ain't I charming?" speak we in the real world tend to fall back on when we're trying to get over with a romantic interest. He's just a guy I liked from the get-go. She's sweet but tough, adoreable but fierce. A girl who's suffered enough disappointment to be hardened but not embittered by it.

I'm going to tread lightly here because I don't want to ruin anything for those who haven't seen it, but I've been thinking about the ending since the moment the screen went black. Roger Ebert said it makes sense if you really think about it. Well, Rog, I've been thinking about it for days now, and I still only think I kinda get it.

In one of the key scenes, Guy learns Girl is married to man she and her daughter left behind in the Czech Republic. He asks if she loves him, and she replies in Czech even though she's fluent in English. I cheated and went searching for the translation of her answer, and she said pretty much what I and anyone who sees the movie figured that she said. Her motives for answering him in a not-really kinda way along with the answer itself probably explain the ending...I think.

I'd be interested in hearing what anyone else thinks about the ending. (i.e. Someone smarter please freakin' explain it to me.)

CURRENTLY LISTENING: The Raconteurs -- Consolers of the Lonely (Jack White is the new savior of the universe.)