Call me Snake...

The movies came fast and furious last week before a slight case of work interrupted all me fun and games. I saw some movies I love, one I found a renewed appreciation for, and a couple I hope to NEVER FREAKIN' SEE AGAIN.

The weekend brought a couple nights with John Carpenter, a filmmaker of amazing ability who had a phenomenal run of 15 years in the '70s and '80s before settling into mediocrity the last couple decades.

Nonetheless, the Aero Theatre was showing the finest Carpenter had to offer, starting with a double feature of THE THING and THE FOG.

To call THE THING the greatest horror movie ever doesn't do it justice. Pigeonholing the film into a genre that mostly sucks is an accomplishment akin to being the tallest United States President. THE THING is one of the finest films ever. End of story.

Everyone, from Carpenter to the cast to FX-master Rob Bottin brings their A-game. The film has aged beautifully; An early card giving the setting in 1982 makes the film feel like a modern period piece rather than a 20-year-old relic. The horror is exacerbated by a psychological element as everyone is left guessing who has been contaminated by their extraterrestrial tormentor. Carpenter gives you more red herrings than clues, showing confidence in his story by not playing for the big, cheap scares and holding his cards close to the vest until the very end.
In short, THE THING is just about perfect.



The man himself was there during the intermission to talk about THE THING and his disappointment that the film bombed during the summer of E.T. and took so long to find its now immense audience. For the record, Carpenter knew all along that it's a great film.

I hadn't seen THE FOG in quite awhile and was surprised to find it was a lot better than I remembered it being. Carpenter creates a creepy feeling that overcomes the films obvious budgetary restraints. The cat conjures up scares literally using nothing more than a couple fog machines, a few large hooks a yards of gauze. You know a films freaky when it takes place in a coastal town yet sucks the air out of a lancdlocked theater.

Not to mention it has Tom Atkins, and, as well all know, anything with Atkins will thrill you.



The next night brought an ESCAPE FROM NEW YORK/ESCAPE FROM L.A. double bill. I'll just get it out of the way and say that ESCAPE FROM L.A. seriously disappointed me 12 years ago and nothing has changed since.



Carpenter explained during the intermission that the film was something of a favor to Kurt Russell, who was itching to play Snake Plissken again. He had trouble writing the film, described the shoot as difficult and, based on a few comments Carpenter made on both nights, I get the impression his love of filmmaking had died long before he signed on to this project.

But why dwell on the negatives when you get a chance to see the still amazing ESCAPE FROM NEW YORK on the big screen? The original print we saw was held together only by the grace of God, but fortunately
He wanted us to see all of this highly influentiial masterpiece so the reels made it for just one more show.

Like THE FOG, it's clear Carpenter didn't have much money to work with and, like THE FOG, the film rocks anyhow. No one was a better early '80s badass than Russell. THE THING's MacReady and Plissken (At least from the first ESCAPE) deserve enshrinement in the movie-hero Hall of Fame.

I'm also willing to call Plissken the modern era's first true anti-hero. Sure, Boba Fett beat him to the theatres by a year, but Plissken holds it down in every frame of the film, while Fett does nothing but take an already-frozen-in-carbonite Han Solo to his pimp Jabba, get punked by Luke Skywalker and then devoured by the Sarlacc.

Sorry, Star Wars fanboy, but these are the facts and they are indisputable.



Each night of the Carpenter double shot was followed by a midnight movie, THE APPLE and an very weird Italian zombie film respectively. I'd discuss these two pieces of eye terrorism (to borrow a phrase from Cinefamily's Hadrian), but it'll only delay the healing process.



Actually, it is worth noting that apparently I saw an extremely rare print of THE APPLE, so rare that it likely has never been screened for the public. There were subtle changes along the way including the full version of a song called "Child of Love" that is matched only by It's A Small World in its ability to both infect and annoy to the point of suicide. Didn't mean much to me, but it adds to my heavy rep as a film geek and oughta mean something to the world's hardcore APPLE fans. (All three of you.)