Eric's War Journal

THE DATE: JULY 23, 2008
THE PLACE: Hollywood
THE MISSION: See "Spaced" on the big screen and hear the wacky Brits behind one of the most brilliant shows ever talk about it.
How hard can it be?

0915: After a tidy three-hours of sleep following the second-to-last installment of Diablo's run at the New Bev, which itself followed a shift that was preceeded by ninety minutes of sleep, I wake up and attempt to cover up the fact that caffeine has been a substitute for good ol' fashioned American rest these past couple weeks. I plan on getting to the ArcLight when it opens in 45 minutes to find out when and where they'll allow the geeks to queue it up. Since the show is free and first-come, first-served, hordes will arrive and many will go home without knowing the joys of "Spaced."

1000: Recon officially begins. I wait for the rabble of viewers there to see THE DARK KNIGHT to get their tickets before I ask the concierge where they plan on lining up the geeks. She looks at me quizzically before excusing herself and returning with a manager.

I apologize for wasting the manager's time and pose her the same question. She looks at me just as quizzically as the first girl I spoke to. I then point to the large digital board that dominates the ArcLight lobby with the theatre's showtimes and point to, "SPECIAL - BBC DVD THEATRE 10."

She seems to be noticing this for the first time, so I then explain to her that her theatre will be hosting a free screening for a bunch of rabid geeks that will likely start pouring into the lobby in a couple hours. Damn if she knows where they're all going to go, however, so she apologizes for her lack of help and excuses herself.

I have a bad feeling about this...

1027: With nothing to do and nowhere in particular to do it, I take refuge at Swingers for eggs, vegetarian sausage and a fat stack of banana pancakes. I check with my secretary and find a message from Jason asking what's going on with the screening. I explain the theatre is clue-deficient, but assure him not to worry that I will handle recon and score us a great place in whatever line emerges in the next couple hours.

1122: I hit Amoeba Records to score the new EP from Zack De La Rocha's new band and The Sword's second album. I also find a Dead Meadow CD cheap in the used bin. Maybe my luck's turning.

I run into New Bev Midnight regulars Jackie and Eric and explain my screwball mission to them and bring them up to speed on its less-than-stellar start. They can't lie about my chances, but I have their sympathy.

1152: As I head over to Starbucks for more caffeine and to convert my new music into ones and zeroes on my laptop, I see a couple geeks -- a goth girl and a chick with bubble-gum pink hair -- standing alongside the cooking school that's across the plaza from the theatre. Could this be the genesis of the queue?

1200: I'm still really impressed with how good that new Sbux coffee is.

1309: Hot Topic and Bubble Gum have been joined by three other girls with geekish leanings. I confirm that this is, in fact, the queue and I and my crew will be 6th in line. Now it's time to sit and wait...

...a lot...

1319: I'm finished with my first listen of One Day as a Lion and it is BADASS! Kinda reminiscent of Evil Empire, and there's absolutely nothing wrong with that.

1327: Silent Bob's long-lost twin brother loudly rolls in from the signing in Westwood that I passed up to ensure a good place in line. He announces to all of us that we missed something epic, which I'm sure we all appreciated hearing. Maybe it was the lack of sleep or my contempt of loudmouths (I don't like the competition), but I suddenly realize that there are a lot of manhole covers through which a dumpy guy who clearly doesn't have the time for personal hygiene could be thrown.

The line starts to build momentum over the next half-hour as my face is thoroughly melted by Gods of the Earth. The Sword owns! They are the lords of all they survey!

1415: A security guard emerges from the theatre and crosses the courtyard to ask me what the line's for.

Chew on that for a moment: A theatre employee is asking me why we're lined up at said theatre.

This thing is being run with military freakin' precision. The line's now pretty beefy.

1445: Jason; his new sidekick JD, who I've been seeing around the Bev a lot, and Cat, a friend of Jason's I've never met, arrive within minutes of each other.

Jason is stoked about our place in line. I'm stoked I can now use the men's room.

1524: Jason hits the Baja Fresh across the street for provisions. I normally loathe the place, but I'm so starved that the grilled vegetarian burrito is like heroin. I stop just short of gobbling the waxy paper it's wrapped in.



1639: As Jay and JD run for coffee, a couple bouncer-esque guys roll the Batpod out of its trailer and a full-blown geek feeding frenzy ensues. People begin battling for position, as if the 750-pound bike is suddenly going to disintegrate before they can snap a picture of it.



I wait for the scent of blood to clear the water before I casually stroll up and get my cheesecake shots.



The line, by the way, has now hit critical mass as it runs the entire length of the plaza...



...winds down Sunset Blvd....



...and rounds the corner across the street from Amoeba.



With the large number of seats that I'm sure that are being saved for friends of the production, a lot of geeks are going home sad today.

1710: Phil comes over to hand out fliers that pimp his upcoming shows and stops to chat with us at the head of the line. I tell him how very, very happy I am that he's screening OVER THE TOP, and he gives me that look he usually gives me when I say something like that.

1758: "ERRRIC!" I stop to see who's shouting my name to find Nicole, another regular on the Geek Circuit, standing around with a gaggle of friends by the front door. I quickly put two and two together and realize that she's not lined up like the rest of us losers because she's being hooked up with seats. She confirms this, fueling a sudden bout of jealousy the likes of which fills my chest cavity with an intense heat.

She explains that her friend, Harmony I believe was her name, runs Simon Pegg's website.

I ask Nicole to tell Harmony I hate her.

1810: Shortly after regulars Rob and Jen join us, the line behind us begins to stir as Edgar Wright, Simon and Jessica Hynes roll in high-fiving the geeks as they pass. I can't get pics of the guys, but I snap a shot of Jess as she enthusiastically chats with a few girls who she recoginzed from the signing earlier that day.



1845: WE'RE IN!!!! The hours spent standing around doing absolutely nothing now pay off as we score the best seats in the house: Dead center in the front row of the second section. Soon the place is completely packed.



Caffeine is replaced by geek-flavored adrenaline as I realize how lucky my handful of cinephiles and I are to even be at something like this. I had the same feeling during THE MOVIE ORGY and Nicky Katt's Monday Mug Melter at the Silent Movie Theatre. I've seen some very, very cool things that many geeks would give their middle nut for this past year.

Speaking of THE MOVIE ORGY, Joe Dante rolls in. So does John Landis. Heather Graham takes a seat in the front row. Diablo shows up with Julia and a couple other faces I recognize from the New Bev.



Kevin Smith gets things started by announcing he's baked, which elicits a huge roar of approval from the crowd. Once again, I'm the straightest geek in the place. Should be used to it by now.

Smith introduces the cast who say a couple brief words then roll the episodes: "Art", "Epiphanies" and "Gone." I haven't seen the show since they aired a handful of eps on BBC America a few years ago to conicide with the release of the painfully brilliant SHAUN OF THE DEAD. the show is just as hilarious as I had remembered, and looks great on the big screen.





Kevin comes back to kick off the Q & A, and not a moment too soon since he looks as if he was about to drop any second. I guess the Industry types can afford the really good stuff.







The three are effortlessly funny, and their banter following the screening makes me long for some sort-of reunion. All three agree there is no way they could recreate the magic of the show at this point in their lives, nixing a proper "Spaced" reunion, but offer that they'd love to continue working together in some other capacity.

They say their goodbyes and retired to a private party in the bar on the ArcLight balcony. My geekdreanaline wearing off and with work looming on the horizon, I too retire.

After all, I need all the rest I could muster...



RICKY is almost here!